How Negative Belief Systems are Disconnected from Our Core Self

And why it's so important we deconstruct them

JUL 13, 2026

Written by Kristin Alvey

The vast majority of us walking around on the planet carry at least one negative belief system, but more likely we are carrying quite a few more. Some of our beliefs are not even registering within our conscious awareness. We are merely operating from the energetic emotion and drives propelling the belief systems and all that is evoked from each of those ecosystems. Each belief system embodies unique variables such as memories, implicit/explicit messages or meaning, behavioral andthought patterns,“triggers," emotions and somatic sensations. Each[negative] belief system is typically driven [or kept alive] by a particular

energetic force, such as fear/anxiety, guilt, shame, low self worth, or avoidance of pain/discomfort.

Unless, you have actively worked on some form of self exploration, individual and systemic deconstruction work, you are likely operating from unconscious belief systems. You may ponder, “Well what does that

mean?” or maybe, “I know why I do what I do.” That is the tricky thing about our egos. They like to impulsively recycle the quick self assurances that “I know myself,” before taking a second to even reflect

on the question itself. We think we know ourselves because we’ve been living with ourselves for so many years. But if we haven’t taken the time and emotional investment required to really unearth why we think,

believe, behave, and function the way we do, then we are really not seeing our truest and most whole Selves.

The most important reason to do this work, in my heartfelt opinion, is that it allows movement closer to our truest Self--the one we were born into upon our arrival on the planet, before we were impacted by adverse childhood experiences, traumas, systemic insults, and false beliefs projected onto us from wounded and unconscious people. Dr. Bruce Perry, studies the neurological affects of neglect on infants and severe trauma onchildren. He explains that we should not be asking people “What is wrong with you?” but rather, “What happened to you?” What happens to us is a contributing factor to how belief systems are formed. Negative belief systems are inherently protective, from the child’s unconscious point of view. For example, a child who receives a glare, a scolding, or other unpleasant reaction from her mother each time she expresses anger or frustration may develop the belief that her own emotions around anger are unacceptable and she must disown or otherwise suppress this within herself. That is the actionable outcome but it is driven by a belief system that this part of her is “wrong, bad, or relationally problematic.” The belief may manifest as “It’s not ok to feel orexpress my anger,” or “something is wrong with me." If we were to explore more deeply, we might find that whenever she feels angry, she gets a pit in her stomach, or a headache. This can come from our attempts to repress emotion. It often feels like a constriction registering in our body. She might feel triggered when someone is disappointed in her, or there is a minor conflict at work. She may find her reactions to these typical life experiences feel disproportionate to the situation.

While this belief blossomed within the attachment dynamic between she and her mother, it now has evolved, or perhaps devolved into a more general relational pattern with others, which will be amplified amongst people with whom she is closest. As a child this belief kept her feeling safe enough to maintain her relationship with her mother. Young children are not capable of seeing their parents as flawed, damaged, or wounded. Developmentally, children will internalize a negative belief about themselves instead, to maintain a sense of safety and connection with the primary caregiver, even if that caregiver is abusive. This is because the child is completely dependent upon the caregiver for food, shelter, life, etc. The greater the abuse, neglect, adverse experiences during childhood, the more negative beliefs we are likely to carry-about ourselves, others and the world.

If we don’t explore what our belief systems are, where our belief systems originate and what purpose they have served in our lives, we are destined to repeat the patterns, based on early childhood events, resulting in ongoing experiences of suffering, pain, and frustration. As Carl Jung famously stated, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."

Within this article I'm referencing belief systems we develop primarily within our family of origin, however it's important to consider the influences of society and collective systems in the creation of our personal belief systems as well. They are interwoven within the fabric of our micro systems, passed down generationally and through various societal channels. They are deserving of their own attention and focus, in understanding how groups of people develop belief systems about other groups of people, etc.

Negative belief systems are like locked gates that interfere and can prevent us from flourishing as a more true, conscious version of ourselves. When we gradually begin to disassemble the information we’ve been storing within us, often we find these beliefs had an expiration date that has long since passed. All of the components that were present at the time the belief system developed and was actively needed, are now gone. Your capacities have since changed, your knowledge and experience have given you greater strength to take on challenging life situations. But we may still enliven these beliefs on our own, disabling access to the more adaptive and adult qualities of how we would like to show up in our lives. Like magnet— we will seek information that validates these beliefs. We also are more likely to minimize and dismiss information that contradicts our beliefs. Using the same example above, the girl, now a woman, will struggle to set boundaries in relationships, because she has disowned the part of her required for her nervous system to feel the discomfort of her boundaries being crossed. That part of her has literally been disabled. She will question “why does everyone take advantage of me?” and “Why do I feel so exhausted and resentful all the time?” All the while completely unaware of how a system within her is fully operating and contributing to these dynamics with others in this way.

The beauty of dismantling belief systems, is the core relief and unburdening that many people experience. There is a sense of separation between themselves and the belief, a deeper and more comprehensive understanding of what and how it has been serving and operating within them. This allows for deepened Self connection and movement towards a more sovereign and balanced belief that comes from the core truth of who you are, not what was embedded within you. We all deserve that type of understanding for ourselves. It is truly our birthright.

AI was not used in the creation of this writing